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Surely, there is more to the legislation than that? Maybe I will string them all together one day, like a sequence of amber beads through which I can cloudily view the trapped insects, fern leaves and raindrops of my life. Oh really, so if you just choose to identify without the surgery you can't. Men and women really do talk slightly different languages. They are lawyers or doctors or architects, whatever. Shortly before I revealed my need to live as a woman to my wife, I took my problem to a marriage counsellor recommended to me by a friend, and whom I found I had actually met on a social basis some years earlier.

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I left a letter of instruction for a friend in case I died on the operating table.

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Later the time came when I set out on my own explorations and divagations. How could their marriage be instantly dissolved if Rachel was to legally become a woman? My fast-forward efforts resulted in clothing and makeup styles inappropriate to my age and position. I knew there had been a person in my former existence, who still loved and wanted his ex-wife and missed his children desperately, yet the perceptions, emotions and experiences of my female persona were starting to overlay the blurring memories of my male self and to achieve the colours and sharp edges of immediacy. Later in his life, he met Jennifer, and they decided to be married. But insecurity and preconceptions, deep hurt and feelings of betrayal are barriers which cannot be breached by simple promises from the author of that hurt, and my plan was rejected as impossible.

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Very few of us seek gender reassignment in order to go to bed with men. Heavens, I am If I could blush I would blush. I speak at gender conferences. Why hadn't I revealed my secret, through innocence as an infant or from sheer desperation as a child needing sympathy and explanation? I had thought that A, we were so loving, and B, I had always tried to educate them to look at every situation on its own merits rather than merely accepting what the conventional point of view was. Why should wide hats and narrow minds disadvantage a whole innocent sub-group of society who want nothing more than to get on with their reordered lives?

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